Philly to Maine. Pt. 1

Pt. 1 Philly to Cambridge, Cambridge to Portland

Allison, Jackie, and myself left Friday after work to embark on our road trip to Maine and back. Beginning leg was interesting. First stop was somewhere just short of Staten Island at a rest stop so we could fill up on caffeine and fattening rest stop food. Being a pescatarian does not leave many options so I resorted to my normal Sabre snack pack. This brings me to my first topic: old heads. Now some time ago my grandmama informed me that since she has reached old age, to her...anything over 70 years, she is now granted the permission to say whatever the hell she feels like saying. This is crazy. I guess I can see where she is coming from, but not really. Back on topic, this old dude I came in contact with at the rest stop took this to a whole other level. So…I am standing in, a very long and annoying line, to buy my $7 snack pack, and finally I reach the counter after like 20 minutes. Here comes old dude, walked right up in front of me and put his stuff on the counter. Mind you, there is like 15 people behind me. The lady at the register looks at him as he pulls out his money for his nutty buddy and says, “Sir there is a line.” His response, “I don’t care.” I was shocked. Typically I am sensitive to oldies but this dude was just rude. I said to him, “Sir, there is a line, we have all been waiting.” He turned to me and said, “I don’t care, do you have a problem?” I returned by informing him that yes I had a problem and that he didn’t take notice of the long line. He said, “what line, I don’t see a line, nor do I care about a line.” Again, shocked. He turned and walked away. I was so tempted to chase his old ass down and shove his nutty buddy down his throat, but I am young, and I guess I don’t have the right. So whatevs. I’m going to have to talk to my grandmama about this shit.

Next up…right before we pulled up to the rest stop I noticed that I had forgotten my effin camera. Great, just great. The whole reason I wanted to go to Maine was to photograph. I just got some new lenses and was so excited to test them out. I can’t even describe to you the feeling. I felt like I had lost my best friend. If I was driving, I would have 100% absolutely turned around and drove the two hours back home to start the trip over right. But I wasn’t, so I had to figure something out. I had my sister immediately go to my apartment to pick up my camera so it could be overnighted to Maine. Too bad mail is not delivered on Sunday. Fuck. For the next four hours I talked myself into just sucking it up and buying a whole new camera. I am completely broke, but this is how important it was to me. I was okay with not eating for the next couple of months. I looked up places to buy and found there was only a Walmart almost an hour away from Bar Harbor. I figured we could stop. Due to some serious traffic delays and arriving much later to Bar Harbor than expected, this did not happen. It is what it is. I have my eyes, and figured I needed to just accept it. Honestly, I am still not over it. I still want to cry.

Anyways, we arrived in Cambridge to Ali’s house just short of 1 am. We had planned to go out and party but I don’t think any of us were really up for it. We decided to just sit in and chat all over some dyno brownies Ali made. Take note now…all we did on this trip is eat, eat, and eat again. Ali had a nice bunk bed set up for me and Al. Slept on the top bunk just so I could feel like a kid again. I still am terrified to climb the bunk bed steps. Seriously, I am almost 29.






Went to breakfast at Johnny D’s in Cambridge and was pleasantly surprised with a jazzy brunch. It was awesome. ‘Berly has had me hooked on jazz since the good ol’ college park days so this just made my morning. And dude was playing the xylophone. Awesome. It was unfortunate we had to skip right outta town after, I would have loved some more time with Ali and the Boston area. We were on a schedule, and like always, were already way late on time.




Spent the next couple of hours in a shit ton of traffic from Boston all the way through New Hampshire. Who the hell knew there were so many beach spots in this area? What should have took us about a little over an hour turned into about three and a half hours. Regardless, I spent some time thinking. At one point I wrote this down, because it was exactly how I felt at the time. “I love the times when you just remember who you are. What you are worth. Those are the best moments. Moments that really matter.” It’s awesome to feel this, even if it is for a millisecond. It usually gets lost, but it always comes back, sometimes in the most unexpected times.

We finally arrived in Portland, ME. There wasn’t too much to see in Portland besides the harbor and a buncha boats. Not too exciting. We stopped in at The Dry Dock for lunch. Got myself a little Crabby Diane which was pretty lame. The gelato afterwards however was amaze, it brought me right back to my memories of Italy. Back in the car…final stop of first leg, Bar Harbor ME.

Awesomes #2

You're Not, It's Not, What's Not AwEsoMe

The rain between spitting and regular rain, where your windshield wipers can't find the right speed
People who send mass messages and those who hit reply all
Hartford Conneticut
Setting up camp in the rain
Quenepas
Coming home to a bloody cat
First dates
Protests outside your office
Fake coke
Forgetting your camera
Sup the Super Trooper
Losing your Iphone charger


You're, Is, What's AwEsomE

Lobster from Maine ((Only))
The Madaras
Divine
Popovers and Jam
Trashing a hotel in less than 8 hrs of stay
Jevin
Rupanunis
Realizing people suck just as bad as they think you suck
Collecting seashells/glass
$1 American Flag Bandanas
Brown tootsie pops
Pops Hipster R-Dio
Bela Fleck

Big Ol Ben

For so long I have been fascinated with the Ben Franklin Bridge. It is massive. I have always wanted to walk across it, I just never found the opportunity to do so. Until recently.

I had been in a serious funk for like weeks. Not for any particular reason, just because sometimes thats what happens. I knew, however, I needed to shake it. So...oddly when I am down I tend to gravitate towards doing things I am absolutely terrified by. Well, heights is one of them. I figured what better time to walk across the bridge, enjoy some fear and take finally get out to shoot after a serious lack of.

Amazing. That's all. Cured me right up.

Here's some photos from the walk...

HBD Cher

So today is Cheri's birthday and just like every year it is a reminder of how much I miss her. I can honestly say there is not one day that goes by that I do not think of her, wishing she was still here. It was just not fair that she was taken so early in life with so much ahead of her. But life goes, eh.

I am thankful however for the relationships that I have built from this tragedy. Remembering Cheri brings us all together. It reminds us of how important we are all to each other. People ask all the time how it is that I still have all my close friends from high school. Cheri is why.

Experiencing the death of anyone let alone someone you are so close with (at the age of 15-16) is devastating. It is my friends that got me through this. Without them, without their love, I would not be here. Promise you that.

So today I not only want to say happy birthday to Cheri, but I want to say thank you to my friends, the ones that know me the most, for helping me become the person I am today. Without each other life would not be the same.

Loves you all.

Awesomes #1

So I've decided that since this is my blog and all I am allowed say whatever the hell I want, each week (with attempt) I'm gonna list my NOT awesomes and awesomes. Reason being, there is so much I want to rant and rave about but just don't have the time to write full blogs. If I offend... well...get over it.

Here goes...

You're Not, It's Not, What's Not AwEsoMe

~Franklin Fountain's Strawberry Sorbet
~You write on facebook about watching shark week more than you actually watch shark week.
~Gay Pizza's Plain Pie
~You manipulate someone to believe they did something wrong when really your insecurities are the problem
~Weird pointy finger nails
~Philadelphia Trash Cans, the ones that look like disgusto mailboxes
~You try and mimic someones outfit and fail miserably
~Balls Vodka
~My hair
~Throwing up outside your car (from drinking) and then getting in to drive
~Drinking natty ices in the bathroom when really you should be finding a job
~Medical Bills over $600

You're, Is, What's AwEsoMe
~You stay at my apartment and leave things I can totally use
~Ristorante Panorama
~Jose
~Bandanas
~You text back in less than two hours
~Rain that makes it all chilly and cool out
~Point Break
~tUne-yards
~Philly SlutWalk, which I'll miss :(
~Pierre Luc Gagnon
~Hugs over handshakes
~The 47
~Seeing a friend who lives more than 1500 miles away

AMES

Ughhhh...I miss little Miss Amy trememdously. I've been thinking about her a lot lately, and as terrible as I am, I haven't even picked up the phone to call her. I mean the first couple months after her move back to Colorado kind of seemed like she was on vacation. Which was fine. But now its not fine, cause I miss her.

I met Amy throught Jacs, I think first show being Toro Y Moi. After that we just clicked. We noticed that we always walked ahead of the crowd, mostly because we both have a close friend/sister living in Greenpoint. If you ever have been to Greenpoint, you know what it is like to walk fast. Even in heels. Anyways, this was our time to bond and catch up on chatter.

I've found myself lately looking around for Amy. Waiting for her fast little feet to join me. I start to talk to her at times, and find that I am talking to myself. Its hard as shit to meet new girlfriends, and when you finally find one, its miserable to have to say good-bye.

Everytime I hear these lyrics though, I'll think of Amy and laugh...

Skeletons

I guess I've been bruised, if we were to speak plain.
Every bruise that comes to flesh, makes it mark on the brain.
You say it's always been and always will be.
Anything you say has already been said, a million times.

Do you think of all of the side streets we walked past slow,
of buried skeletons buried in the back yard?

So you think you've moved me to change,
how could I be moved when I want to move away from this place?
Things you think you know or you may have seen,
might have come to pass if your parents had been kept clean.

Do you think of all of the side streets we've walked past slow,
of buried skeletons buried in the back yard

..Miss you girl...more and more everyday..

Anew

Okay so typically I wouldn’t write about something that may seem so personal to me however, I am NOT really ashamed of this bit because I have finally, after some time, taken from it. It’s pretty fucking bittersweet I would say.

So anyways, I was seeing this dude a while back, I can’t really call it dating, because labels were absolutely forbidden. I’ll call it Laura becomes emotionally invested while dude becomes, well…he would say annoyed; I would say nothing short of what he was before we met. There was never any room for love, so I knew from the very beginning this most likely would get interesting. Don’t get me wrong, it was tons and tons of fun, and I am more than thankful for these months in my life. I don’t regret much, I just want to write about something new I felt. Something I am appreciative to have, and will continue, to embrace.

I think, like I said, because it was pretty much evident from the beginning, there was never any room for love; I somehow learned how to appreciate someone in a different way. It’s weird, and I might have a difficult time explaining, but I will try. I noticed sometime into “seeing” him that I truly cared about someone, differently than I ever had before. Usually, I will be honest, I am somewhat of a selfish person. I’m a brat, what can I say. It’s something I am aware about myself, and absolutely hate. However, for like the first time ((other than towards my close friends)) I started to actually respect and wish for someone’s happiness more than I cared what I was getting out of it. I liked feeling this way. It made me happy to feel excited for someone else’s happiness.

I guess maybe I was growing, learning from my past mistakes, but it felt pretty good. In past relationships, I always cared for the other person, but I was also pretty concerned with where it was going, what I was gonna get out of it, and ultimately how it would benefit me in the future. These relationships consisted of a lot of, “this is not fair,” “why is he doing this to me”, “why can’t he give me this,” blah blah blah, tears tears tears. I was not feeling this here and it was super fucking strange.

It was more like, I hope you are happy, I hope you do this, I will wait for you to feel, I won’t be jealous, etc, etc. Now I would probably bet that he would say this was not the case, but I am explaining what I actually felt, so fuck what anyone else’s perspective is of my feelings. Again…a first. So as I began to embrace these feelings, I started to apply it towards my other relationships, my friends, my family, my co-workers. Sometimes I get lost, and lose it, but I ultimately I know the ability is there.

I learned that if you try and be happy for someone at all times, rather than feelings of jealously or resentment in any way, there is not much room to be let down. Yea there were times, I wished things were allowed to be different between us, but it was a battle I could not fight, I would never win. So…I set out to care for someone differently and I move forward now with a higher sense of self than I have ever felt. I probably did not always show this to him in the best way, but it was new to me. And I am totally fucking far from perfect.

This “non-relationship” has moved in a direction I did not necessarily hope for, but hey, what can I do? Say? Absolutely nothing, well, besides this. It’s crazy to learn new emotions, different ways to feel. Sometimes it is seriously terrifying. I just think that without emotion, without feelings, there is not much hope for anything. I am happy that I have grown. I am sad some people cannot see true intentions. But at the end of the day, it is those that return this feeling, who will leave a forever impression on your soul. Those that do not may have a different path, and well, if they are happy, then so am I.