Stranger Mothers

Let me first start out this post by saying, this is in no way a insult to mothers who have more than one child.  Unless, you happen to fall into the category of type of mother who I just ran into this morning....

So I am up super early this morning in the coffee shop and in walks a mother of three.  Two children are about 4 and 5, super excited and running around crazy in the shop, the third a screaming infant in some strange little pouch carrier beneath the stroller where I thought you were supposed to keep your diaper bag and baby shit.  As I witness this, I think to myself, "damn this mama is keeping her shit together, good for her."  She was definitely calm, especially with the way her child was screaming, ordering her coffee and muffins and juggling all her money and bottles.  I stood there just patiently waiting my turn, dodging the four and five year old, and minding my own damn business.

And here it comes people, here it comes...

The lady turns to me, and for some reason thinks this is okay to say, "are you ready for this, cause this is going to be you, reallllll soon."  I thankfully, was able to just smile and let her leave without saying any of what I really wanted to say to her slip out.

First of all, why are some mothers like angry old women, thinking they can say anything they damn well please to strangers.  You, mama, do not know me.  How do you know I am not giving this baby up for adoption, or even carrying it as a surrogate?  That's right, you don't, yet you still feel the need to comment on what my life is "going to be like" when I have my first, not third child.  You forgot in all the craziness of your screaming children that you do not know me, and you certainly do not have the right to make assumptions on something you know nothing about.

Second, "am I ready for this?"  Ready for what?  Three children?  Hell no.  Oh yea, I forgot you know me so well you know I am having three children, and screaming ones too.  They are just all gonna pop right out being maniacs.  Newsflash, tubes will be tied instantly, if for some reason this mama makes it to two.  But I forgot, you wouldn't know that, because oh yea, YOU don't know me!

Third, and most importantly, why oh why do you have to be so instantly negative?  Why do some moms automatically default to the "get ready for this, it is hell" comments rather than the, "don't worry, it's not always this bad" encouragements?  I don't get it.  I really don't.  If it is that bad, why in the world did you pump out three children?!  Should I comment on your poor choices?  Why are you not offering, me as a stranger, words of encouragement rather than making me want to go home and cry for the last 10 weeks of my pregnancy.

Listen, I know that babies cry, and being a mother is the most challenging job any one person can hold.  But, did you not think, I thought about this just a tiny bit before getting myself into this situation?  I am certainly aware of what goes on, and though I might not have first hand experience, it is something that I am currently preparing to learn.  Let me learn it, without your shit ass comments.

I just wish, that mothers like this, could stop for one second and change their thought pattern, and offer something else.  I understand completely that the stress levels are high, and you might not be thinking clearly, but please, how about you just not say anything at all?  I have ten weeks left, can't you just let me live in my fairy tale land where I am not sleep deprived, hangry, on the verge of a breakdown.

Most importantly, we as strangers do not know what some people are going through.  I think we need to all just stop and think sometimes, that our situations, are not always the same as other peoples situations.  I believe I touched on this in a previous post, about people not asking whether or not you were pregnant yet.  Your simple words, could really be hurtful to someone, especially someone you do not know.  And have we forgotten, the lesson, "if you don't have anything nice to say, do not say anything at all?" I really just don't get it.

I really would like to thank those that do offer words of encouragement.  You mamas are really awesome and I appreciate that you break the mold of the typical mother to future mother comment that I have experienced throughout this pregnancy.  Like my friend Kerrie said to me just this weekend, "you are gonna love this La, you really are, I can't wait for you to know what it is like."  Well thanks, thanks for that.  I really really can't wait.

Thank you now.  Carry on.