So it has officially been a year (well Oct 8th) since my Aunt Lisa passed away. There is absolutely not a day that goes by that I do not miss her voice, her advice, her laugh. Not fair. Whatever. She is in a better place than she was and I try and believe that each and every day. Not seeing her in pain makes everything much easier to deal with.
Anyways...I have said time and time again that I have not once, even for a minute, felt my aunts presence. Not since I saw her take her last breath. This is weird for me. I mean for years after my best friend was killed I felt her presence all around, pretty much everytime the wind blew. I talk to my aunt on a regular basis and I think that maybe somehow she is watching over me, but honestly, I have never once felt like she is. I have come to accept that maybe she crossed over ((wherever)) faster than most because she was ready?? I don't know, but it never really has bothered me, I was alright with it. I believed that one day I would see her again, and that was enough.
Well...what the fuck. Last night I had the most vivid dream of her you could ever imagine. I can't even grasp the amount of emotion I felt. I am totally creeped the eff out. What's crazy is that she was no longer my sick aunt Lisa in the dream. She was completely vivacious, alive, intensly giving off positive energy. It made me so happy I cannot even begin to explain. I am not exactly sure what we talked about, maybe because I was in complete awe, but all I know is that I woke up with tears in my eyes.
I was so distraught for so long that the last memory of my aunt was going to be me watching her gasp her last breath of air. I wish this upon no one, ever, ever, ever. This morning however, I truly feel as if I remember it differently. It's amazing. I am overwhelmed. And most importantly thankful to have felt her presence just once.
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