Gua Sha

Last night I returned to the Wellness Center for my acupuncture appt with Cheryl.  I had a lot to say, especially after my gluten free disappointment had hit an all time high.  I needed to tell her I felt like shit and that I was ready to not feel this way anymore.

So I arrive and immediately tell her I feel like crap.  My appointment with her two weeks ago for acupuncture was cancelled and now I have been without it for four weeks.  She informed me that my over indulgence in gluten over the holiday was my "lesson" and I should use it as a tool to stay on track.  Yea most definitely.  I will, I promise.

I talked to her a bit about my rib pain.  For those that don't know, and you should be glad I haven't complained to you, I have had this chronic rib pain for about 6 months now.  Sometimes it is worse than others but all together it is just annoying.  It is not a pain that I cannot live with, but it is more so just always there, it hurts to touch, to move in certain ways, and most certainly to stretch.  Hugging someone was even painful at times.

Let me just explain to you what I have experienced with this rib....

At first I thought my rib hurt because I was sleeping on a new bed, and it did not have a mattress pad.  So after shopping around for the best of the best mattress pad, I bought one.  It was no help.  I still had pain.

Then I was convinced I had a tumor.  Cause that is what I do...naturally.

So I went to the doctors.  The doctor told me it was anxiety and stress.  Like usual.  And I left with two different prescriptions to up the doses on my Xanax.  The doctor insisted on increasing my dose on my Xanax even though I explained to her I don't even take the ones she originally prescribed to me.  She suggested I take the pills and relax.

So I did.  And I was wasted and felt little to nothing.  Felt good for a bit.  But it returned.

I went back to the doctors.  Told her again.  She sends me for X-Rays and an UltraSound.  I get both.  Both are perfectly normal.  But anyway...all results were normal.

$1400 in medical bills and a mattress pad later I was left with no explanation.  And now just beginning to think I was just crazy.

So it continued.  And it was hard to do certain things at the gym, or sleep on my stomach, and even hug my fiance.  I was constant complaining about this stupid ass rib.  I was annoyed I had no idea what was going on and what I could do for this thing.

But mostly I wanted to stop diagnosing my self with a serious life threatening illness.  If you could even see the search results on my browsing history you would die.  From laughter.

I tell Cheryl about my rib pain, and its like its no big thing.  She touches my stomach and is like yea I feel some knots in there.  Let me do some Gua Sha.

"Some WHAT?!"

Next thing you know I am getting Gua Sha.  She is like "ohhhhh yea, you got an old injury in here"  Look she says.  I look down and my entire stomach is like red and looks like a serious skin rash/bruise.  She says, "when you have an injury your stomach turns red like this, otherwise it would just be pink from the little rubbing I am doing."

I am fascinated.  I didn't even feel anything.  It just felt like she is rubbing a cap to a jar smoothly over my skin.  This cannot work.

So we will see if it does.  Right now it feels entirely different.  It is just sore like a bruise, and entirely different feeling from before.

And here's the link to Gua Sha if you want to take a read.

http://www.delvalacupuncture.com/CherylsSite3/Gua%20Sha.htm


Crossing my fingers.

This is what it looked like after Gua Sha

Wheat Envy

So this whole gluten free deal, yea well I don't like it.  I have really been struggling with it.  Especially over these holidays.  I developed this mentality that maybe if I just follow the no gluten thing "most of the time" I would be fine.  Well yea, I will be physically living yes, and that is fine, but I will be in pain.  And lots of it.

I keep referring back to the fact that I used to eat all these things and it was okay.  But I tend to forget that I was constantly feeling crappy.  And after detoxing from gluten for a couple weeks and seeing how great I felt, I should not be okay with having this "most of the time" mentality.

This holiday I over indulged in plenty of foods that included wheat.  Even though I thought I did pretty well, the affects of it are not pretty.  I am still recovering.  Almost a week and I am just about free from indigestion, cramps, and bloating.  I have all these aches and pains throughout my body.  I constantly think, hey I worked out too hard at the gym, or hey I am just overly stressed, when really it could just be the affects of my lack of dedication to MY healthy eating habits.  The more and more I read about the negative affects of gluten the more it resonates that this is why I feel crappy.  I have a medical professional tell me I have an intolerance for a specific food and I continue to remain in denial about it.  I continue to make excuses.  And I certainly, continue to feel crappy.

NO MORE.

(and still in my head I think, "well maybe just sometimes")

I am going to use this blog to document my struggles with this and my journey towards being strong and feeling healthy.  All these other "wheat free" blogs are so inspirational but sometimes I feel like, "don't you ever mess up" and "how do you live this way all of the time?"

As a vegan, it is even more difficult (I think) to eliminate gluten.  I mean what the hell else is there left for me to eat.  And it actually makes me sort of angry inside.  I have thought about adding some animal products (such as eggs) back in to my life to make it easier, but it makes me really uncomfortable still.  I still think about this daily, but I am not there yet.

Oh and on a side note...my fiance found out he is allergic to gluten as well.  Which seems great right?  We can live this hell together??  Not so fast.  He decided that with this whole gluten hell thing, he is going to try out the Paleo diet.  And it makes me want to crawl into a ball and cry.  And cry some more.  How can this be, how can this even work?  Why me, why me? Over and over and over again.

But I am living, and for that I should feel thankful.  And not pissed off at the world because wheat makes me feel horrible.  It honestly is not the end of the world.  And even though sometimes I might feel like it is, life will go on without it.

So here I will be documenting, and struggling, and winning, and probably struggling some more.  But at least this can be my motivation to be a Super Stellar Healthy Eater/Blogger that rarely makes mistakes...Paleo and Vegan and Gluten free.

Wish me luck.

This is actually how we feel

Here is a quick and easy test to get an idea if gluten is affecting your health
http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/gluten-sensitivity-self-test

And if you think it is please make an appt with Cheryl Broad for Allergy Testing here
http://www.artofwellnesscenter.com/

And if you then are hit with the worst news ever (according to me) here are some websites that have really helped me so far.

Against All Grain http://www.againstallgrain.com/

Wheat-Free http://www.wheat-free.org/

Inspiralized http://www.inspiralized.com/
*** soon to be the basis of my whole existence once I receive my new spiralizer in the mail***

Food Babe http://foodbabe.com/

Art of Wellness

So thanks to Fran, I was able to go to my first appointment at the Art of Wellness yesterday.  Fran bought me a gift card for my birthday because 1. she really enjoyed her own appointment, and 2. because my body has been extremely out of WACK lately. 

For those of you that know me well, and I guess those that don't, I have been experiencing a tremendous amount of anxiety in the past four-five months.  I've tried to blame it on just about anything and everything, and have spent countless hours trying to figure out my triggers.  The craziest thing is that I should be the happiest I have ever been in my life, but for some reason at times I feel exactly everything but that.  It is a constant battle for me. 

Since I have been a child I have always been a worrier.   And in turn, have always felt sick.  I go through rough periods of these feelings, which are far worse than others, but ultimately I never exactly feel okay.  I go through mixtures of remedies and techniques to battle this anxiety but somehow it always finds it way back to me.  Happy or sad, somehow it always creeps back in.  I treat my anxiety like a really super annoying friend.  Someone who shows up just a the most inappropriate moment begging for attention.  And who just will not go away. 

I listen to friends, family, co-workers, doctors, gurus, strangers, anyone who will give me advice to fight this craphole of a friend.  Sometimes suggestions work, sometimes they don't, but somehow, like I said it all comes back to me at some point.  There's periods where I feel like giving up on learning to live with this shit, and other times where I am determined to find the best ways to fight back hard against it. 

Recurring Cycle.

But anyway, back to the point.  I went to this Allergy Testing appointment.  I really did not know exactly what to expect nor if I really believed this testing would even feel accurate or justifiable to me.  I mean really, how can a metal stick and energy waves tell you what your body can and can't handle.  And how in the world was that going to help my anxiety?  I barely eat anything that is not good for my body.  If I cut anything else out you could basically categorize me as a bunny (which I am fine with).  And again, what the hell does this have to do with my aches, and pains, and most importantly my mental status? 

Welllll...let me tell you this test was fantastic.  And I left with soooo much insight and so much hope for a life without this annoying friend.  I learned that I in fact am not crazy, and surprisingly my brain is functioning rather well.  Rather, I have one of those "chemical imbalances" they talk about.  Talk chemicals or science for that matter to me and I check right the fuck out.  Not listening, don't understand.  Just tell me what I can do to fix it.  And don't shove Zoloft and Xanax down my throat, even though, they sometimes may be rather enjoyable.  But not for me ultimately. 

So let's do this the homeopathic way...I am in.  I understand NOW that my body is not producing enough serotonin, and without this it makes it difficult for me to fight these bouts of anxiety.   I know that because I lack serotonin my body has a hard time escaping that fight or flight mode, and in turn my heart palpitations and inability to deal with stressful situations are inevitable.  It finally makes sense.  I get it now.  And now I can work on fixing it through acupuncture and serotonin doses. 

That's it?  Really?  But yea...

I have so much hope.  And I am more than thankful I had the opportunity to be introduced to the wellness center.  I am confident this is the way, and I hope my experience through this will help others to see that prescription depression/anxiety medications are not the only way to go. 

I mean, anyone can do this really.  It's a matter of making it happen actually.  Which I am glad I finally did.  I got home and told Steve all about it.  He says, at the end of my rant, "give me a hug, come here." What?  Why? What did I do?  "I'm proud of you" he says.  And you know what?  He's right, I should be proud of me.  I really kinda am.  I've been talking about it (and now writing) all damn day.

OHhhh and on a complete side note: I also found out I am allergic to gluten.  Which sucks far worse than I could ever imagine.  But I will deal with that on its own.  I mean we live in a Gluten Free World these days.  And I am determined to get my body to learn how to break it down, so one day I can eat all the pasta I could ever want.  I am only on day one about 6 hrs into my gluten detox, so I am sure we will revisit this in about 24 hours when my longing for bagels and skinny sticks meets its max.

If anyone in the Philadelphia area would like to go to one of these appts I highly suggest checking out Cheryl at www.theartofwellnesscenter.com. 

And if you need some guidance on how to deal with anxiety, I am sure I have just about every suggestion for you.  Just give me a call.  I'll be sure to talk you through the worst of the worst kind of panic attacks.

With love.
Your chemically unbalanced gluten allergenic freak.