Pregnant?

Exactly one month and 8 days post wedding and I am already fed up with the question "Are you pregnant?"  For the love of Pete.  No.  Stop.

I mean don't get me wrong, I want children, and I wouldn't mind having them soon but in all reality think about the words that are coming out of your mouth people!!  I am about to stamp my forehead before going into family events and parties with "on my period.  not pregnant" just to avoid this question.  It is so crazy how many times people hint that I could be pregnant with every thing I say.  Like oh my shoulder has been bothering me, "welp you know you could be pregnant."  Stop it!

Now I say all these things for every woman that experiences this, not just me.

1.  There has only been one month that I could have maybe conceived a child since my wedding day.  In fact, if you are knowledgable of the female reproductive system that is exactly like a 5-6 day window in which a woman ovulates and has the chance of getting pregnant.  So the likelihood of this pregnancy assumption on your part is absurd.

2.  There are people that have trouble conceiving children.  How about you think about that before you ask me every single time I have a stomach ache.  It could be offensive.  And it could send someone to want to crawl in a hole every time you open your big "I want you to be pregnant so bad I can't control myself" mouth.

3.  Let's say I was pregnant, one month and 8 days post wedding.  Do you think I would tell you?  I mean isn't there all these type of rules of when you can tell people just in case anything happens early on?  So again,  think people.  Think.

4.  Who is to say that I even want children?  Have we discussed this before?  Because I am pretty sure we haven't.  I mean if you look at my life, it is not clear exactly that I am the type of person who even wants children.  I love to travel, I love to party, I love to fly by the seat of my pants.  I really really love my cat, and my small ass apartment.  But go ahead, assume on.  You are totally appropriate.

5.  Did you ever think the question "Are you pregnant?" might just might make me feel like I have packed on the pounds (which I totally did) during my month long honeymoon?  Jesus.  I feel fat.  This is offensive.  Stop.  I am not eating for the next three weeks.

So let's just be fair here.  I promise you, when I have the exciting news that I am in fact pregnant I will tell you.  I solemnly swear.  But for now, and for the next few months, please please please back off and let me figure out how to be married and love my husband without your consistent, and persistent, yes, in fact Stupid Questions.