Esperanza.

So I am currently in Raleigh, NC and have met, to say the least, some very interesting people while I have been here. Today was oh so very humbling after meeting a dynamic woman by the name of Esperanza. I first saw Esperanza while standing outside waiting for my friend Joe to meet me. Now it was absolutely a “tarantula” down pour outside and I was thinking about how I could save my non tailored pants from being completely ruined. I am not sure if Esperanza saw the annoyance in my face, or if she just simply noticed a five foot two girl with brand new untailored pants trying to figure out a plan, but she instantly surprised me. She did not know me, she did not know she was going to meet me upstairs in a few minutes, and she definitely did not know if she would ever even see me again, however she said in her beautiful Columbian accent “would you like to have my umbrella, I have a hat.” I was so incredibly surprised that someone would even offer I just quickly said “no that’s okay, thanks.” A few minutes later of waiting and the “tarantula” rain got even worse. I figured that it would be smart for me to go back to my office and grab an umbrella before Joe arrived. I got back to the office and to my surprise Esperanza was sitting at the table for orientation. She said, “I knew you were going to need this, “and passed me the umbrella. I just smiled, thanked her, and returned to the rain.

After lunch I returned to work and began helping all of the individuals that had come for orientation. Our new program creates the opportunity for displaced workers to receive training/schooling in order to get back to the workforce. Immediately, I was introduced to the most miserable women I have ever met. She was not prepared with the documents needed and for some reason believed this was our fault. However, this is a regular and most normal occurrence in my field of work. I dealt with it and then was on to the next candidate, Esperanza. I was happy to see her again because at least I knew she was a pleasant and generous woman. I began speaking with her and instantly loved her. She was so incredibly positive and so interested in sharing her life with a complete stranger. Maybe she was lonely, maybe she just needed someone to talk to, regardless, she was pretty much awesome.

Esperanza moved to the states from Columbia when she was 27 (now 54) due to the political turmoil and unsafe living conditions in her country. She explained that she feared death almost every day and could not continue to live her life this way so she moved to find a better way of life. She moved all across the country trying to find herself. Recently she moved from New Hampshire to North Carolina after the loss of her job with the state. In the past few months, she has been trying to establish herself in Raleigh, which to her surprise, from my point of view, was not working out so well. She continued to apply, interview, and get turned down from each and every job. She has been out of work for over six months with absolutely no income. She explained that she was appreciating her ability to buy one meal a day due to her new svelte figure. She explained that her living conditions, in a neighborhood full of crime where her neighbor was just shot point blank, were satisfying due to her nicely decorated apartment. She told me that life was just what you make of it. And she was making it lovely.

At this point I noticed her hat, which was shelter enough, to offer her umbrella to me, read “Life is Good.” I commented on her hat and told her that it was nice to speak with someone who was so positive. She continued to explain to me that life was good and she was so blessed to be in a country with such opportunity. Opportunity? Really? Maybe I was missing something. It seemed there was not much, as far as opportunity, working in her corner. She went on to further explain that America has given her the opportunity to love, to learn, and to above all to be whoever she wanted to be.

We went over her bank statements to determine her low income eligibility and it proved that out of her life savings she had $62 left. I was reviewing her purchases and questioned an online payment for $14.95 within the past two weeks. She explained to me that even though she did not have much money she felt the need to buy a self help book to keep her positive. Ironically, it is the same exact book I am reading at this time. I did not tell her this because I wanted to get her take on the book prior to explaining the coincidence. She explained that she was learning to master her mind and to learn to think only in the Now. She wanted to get rid of all of the negative energy roaming around in her mind. She did not want to think of the future, nor the past, she wanted to think of today or rather each and every moment. And today, right at this time, at that very moment, she was happy. She refused to think of anything else. When you think this way, and trust me it is very hard, you learn to appreciate each and every second, disregarding time whatsoever. Most people would say geez this woman is ridiculous, she needs to think about getting herself in a better situation. She needs to find a job. She needs to be realistic. However, from my point of view, and hers, she will never need to think this way, because none of this matters. What matters is that at that very moment, she is positive and confident that her life will be exactly what she wants it to be. It is not always so simple to think this way, and almost impossible to spend all your time in this mindset, but it is the most gratifying way of living. I am learning, as should everyone, that Now is the only, what we call “time”, to experience pure happiness. If you miss it, well…there is plenty of opportunity to close your eyes and feel it again. That simply, is the beauty.

After her acceptance into the program I offered her a free meal and continued sharing some funny thoughts. We talked about our cultures and of course diversity. She explained that she did not know much about “the Irish” except of the man curse as she called it. I asked her about the curse and she was shocked I did not know that all Irish men have small packages. I explained to her that from my experience this was not, all of the time, true and that she could definitely set out to find her a good Irish man. I explained to her that the most identification I had with her culture would be my love for tequila. She then followed that this “love” may be exactly the reason I could not agree with the justification of the “Irish” man curse. I just had to laugh.

I could have sat with her for days talking and laughing and just experiencing positivity but unfortunately I had to get back to work. I wished her the best of luck and told her that I looked forward to working with her in the future. When she left I had to excuse myself and just take a minute outside. I was so incredibly humbled by my experience speaking with this woman. Esperanza reminded me once again how precious each and every moment is. She proved that regardless of what life throws at you nothing matters more than how you feel at that very moment. And if you stop and feel, really feel, at this very moment, with no thoughts roaming in your head, that you are perfectly happy and blessed; you will understand the power of Now. There is no past. There is no future. There is no time. The only thing that matters NOW is your love for yourself, for others, and for the beauty of life itself.

Gracias Esperanza.