With a heavy heart...

I don't even know where to start with this.

I began following Bethany on Instagram at the very beginning of my pregnancy.  At a time, where not even my friends or family knew what was happening. I saw her feed through the "Explore Posts" and was instantly drawn to her and her adorable daughter and her growing baby bump.  I am not one to randomly follow strangers on social media, but I was yearning to know more about how I could still look cool pregnant, how I could be a hip mom, and how I could still maintain an on the go "city living" mom attitude.  I know that is extremely vain of me, but it is the truth.  I was scared because I didn't expect to be pregnant this early in my marriage, and I certainly wasn't ready to give up my lifestyle as many have warned me I would have to.  Watching Bethany grow, and watching her with her current daughter just made me happy.  Not that I need to explain to any of you my social media antics, but whatever.

And this is where I tell you...if you can't deal with sadness, then close this right now.  Because sad is an understatement.

A few weeks ago Bethany went into premature labor.

You can read her story here....

Bethany Menzel

A week or so later her daughter Goldie was born and there was something really wrong.  Goldie was extremely sick and the hopes of her surviving very slim.  I was devastated for Bethany, someone I didn't even know, and felt such a strong connection to this women I have never even met.  I called upon a few of my good friends to send out their kinds of prayers for this family.  I am not one for prayers to God, but I set more intentions than I have ever have and spent so much of my meditation time forcing light and love with the hopes that Goldie would survive.  Unfortunately, it was not enough.

I don't even know where I am going with this.

I know I was meant to read this story for some reason.

I just think we all sometimes take so much for granted.  I know I do.  And this is a reminder, to be grateful on so many levels.  To be thankful, for our lives, our experiences.  Even the ones filled with so much pain, and so much grief.  They are there for a reason.

I am even more thankful than one could ever be thankful for the little blessing, our precious Jack, that is growing bigger each and every day.

I am especially grateful, for the mourning I have experienced in this life, including the times where I felt the deepest sadness, because it has brought me so many great things.

And I am most thankful, writing this with such an incredibly heavy heart, that I have been drawn to this very beautiful human being, for she has provided me with the reminder that regardless of the situation, the sadness, the experience, whatever it may be, it is here for a reason, and that reason will give each and every one of us a purpose in life.  Forever a life filled with so much wonder, and so much hurt, and even more beauty than most of us ever even begin to imagine.